I am so sorry about this Marshall

*Wow, a comic that more than 5 people might get! I had some kind of crazy twitch that day, and various people assumed I was hitting on them! Winking is entirely too suggestive. Winking with a single raised eyebrow? DISASTROUS.

So you got caught.

You knew this day would come. You’ve been on the run for 17 years, but your past caught up at last. Your maid, Juanita, opens the door slowly, just as she always did, but there’s something different about her. She pulls a handgun from her blouse, and points it at you with practiced efficiency.
“So it was you, Juanita.” Say it nonchalantly. Make her think this doesn’t matter to you, they don’t have enough evidence to make this stick.
“It had to end one day. You knew that as well as I.” Her gun hand doesn’t waver. She’s a professional. “I have the documents. There’s no worming your way out of this.”
“You did your homework! What are they paying you?” She expected this, but offer an alternate sum anyways. She’s barely fazed, but you still have a chance, remember that. Hum Birdland. This is her song.
“Don’t. . .” She’ll say, but you see she’s weakening. Take the chance: Jump into your moat from the window. She won’t try to stop you. (Blow her a kiss if you’re debonair enough.)

You’ve evaded them for another day. Congratulations! Grow a moustache and buy a mansion in Russia.